Today: I went paddling and watched a paddling movie.
But wait- I promise this post has more depth to it than it sounds.
First, my paddling adventure: The East branch of the Pemigewassett. A really classic new england run.
It was a little low, but beggars can’t be choosers. It was the only thing that was running, even after some steady rain. My friend Jan (Yan- remember? The non-asian, really tall, polish guy) and I met up with some of his Plymouth State friends to paddle.
A really good paddling level for me… very challenging but doable. I got sidesurfed in a hole and flipped once and couldn’t roll back up because it was so shallow and my paddle kept glancing off rocks around me before I could get it to the right placement to roll. I ended up wet exiting and swimming after 4 attempts to roll and a few shots to the helmet. It was a good swim- as in, “good for me”- my last swim was on the Magalloway last year and it shook me up pretty bad. This one was just a good reality check.
I’m also grateful for my paddling friends, Jan and Mike. I am choosy when it comes to paddling partners- as everyone should be- and these guys are first class. They take good care of me.
It was a long, continuous river. 10 miles of constant class III with a few IV rapids. This is only one of 2 rapids we got out to scout and it still took us about 4 hours.
Scouting. I ran a line on the river left of this rapid and eddied out on the left. Only after did I realize that running left meant I had to somehow make it to river right and run down that channel, without getting pinned against that huge rock in the middle where all the water pushes into. I ferried across right in that big, pushy water above the kayak in the photo and ran a smooth line. An accomplishment for me.
Scouting the last major rapid at the dam. It’s a big, sticky hole. Surfing a wave is fun because it’s trying to flush you out the whole time and you’re paddling to stay in it. Holes are when the water is constantly recirculating on itself, so instead of flushing you out, it keeps you in. Like a giant washing machine.
Sometimes you can just paddle like a maniac and punch through a hole with enough momentum to bring you through it. Not this one. The line was far to river right.
I usually haven’t given details about my paddling experiences, just photos and brief explanations. Mostly because I don’t want to freak my mom out. And also because it feels stupid to try and describe them in words.
But I wanted to give a little bit more explanation about my paddle today, maybe so you can understand a little bit more about what I mean when I talk about “paddling”, and maybe so you can see a little bit about what risk it involves.
Because I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I’m so stoked on paddling. It’s definitely a “flow zone” for me, which sounds cliche, but when I paddle it is the perfect mix of challenge and also skill level to be able to meet that challenge level- and if I “fail” I am only more determined to do it better. So that’s definitely a part of it. But not all of it and not even most of it. So why is paddling so awesome?
I promise I don’t do it because it’s cool or badass. I really dislike those stigma attached to it. And there are so many areas in outdoor ed where that is so prevalent. But I love paddling and I love the paddling community because it is so anti-those things. It’s not like the “jock” rock climbing community around here- which I’ve been so fed up with lately- It’s a group of people, in the middle of nowhere, with no one watching, doing an activity that requires complete intense focus and judgement. It’s also a group of people intensely responsible for taking good care of each other.
Paddling is its own entirely separate world, where nothing exists except your body, your boat, your paddle, and the water. And actually, that’s why I think it is not a separation from “reality”, but rather drawing in to it. Edgework- this process of living “on the edge”, or at least perceiving it so, is a complete presence in the moment, of total concentration and focus. It is a reliance on judgement, a process of working with others but ultimately relying on your own work, and a total connection to your immediate surroundings.
It is also a process of living- of understanding risk, judgement, decision making, and consequences.
But paddling is a deviation from reality in the sense that coming back from a paddling experience feels like culture shock. Who else can understand the total experience of living you’ve just encountered for the last hours? And maybe that’s also a reason I wanted to give more detail about my paddling today… I want so badly for you too to be able to be a part of it.
So let me be clear- I don’t put myself in situations where I am seriously in danger of dying. But there are plenty of paddlers who do. And I don’t personally understand what motivates them to do it, but I imagine parts of it might reflect my thoughts.
So the movie I watched- Kadoma- is not your regular kayaking flick. It’s actually a documentary about a famous South African paddler, Hendri Coetzee, who recently was attempting first ascents of the Congo River with two Americans and was pulled from his boat and eaten by a Crocodile. Gruesome. They had known from the beginning that the trip was fantastically dangerous- less for the actual paddling and more for the political instability and danger of wildlife. But a really well made documentary about that trip and very thought provoking and moving, exploring a lot of Hendri’s philosophies on paddling and life.
I need to believe that there is more to this world than what we know. I need to believe there is magic out there. I cannot believe these things blindly, though, and maybe that is why I had to do this mission—to prove to myself that we can do things which are bigger than ourselves. I needed to walk through a minefield to feel protected … The adventure is sometimes a terrifying thing to love, but when you do, there’s nothing that can replace it or push it out of your head. It’s the best remedy, inspiration, stimulation, and challenge that moves me towards learning the most about myself and the world.
Hendri Coetzee
